Chapter 2
Translator: Aafkee
Proofreader: Superclubs2
Chen Yuan turned back and saw his colleagues from his department.
Chen Yuan smiled, “I just came back yesterday. Have you guys gathered for dinner?”
“Yeah, why didn’t you tell us? We would have invited you if we had known.”
The person who spoke was a fresh graduate. He had joined Chen Yuan’s department as an intern and worked for the team leader’s as an assistant.
Chen Yuan was a gentle person who did not put on much of an air around himself. He had a very good relationship with his colleagues in the same department.
As Lu Chuiqing arrived briskly at the Thai restaurant Chen Yuan told him about, he could not help but stop at a distance once he saw Chen Yuan chatting happily with a group of people that he knew nothing about.
Lu Chuiqing subconsciously glanced at his own reflection on the glass wall beside him. As he was in a rush, he was only wearing a simple white t-shirt and jeans. The t-shirt was slightly crumpled, even his jeans were messy, street style. Despite dressing casually as well, unlike him, each and every one of them looked dignified and stylish.
Especially that youngster. Although he was standing beside Chen Yuan politely, not doing anything inappropriate. However, there was probably no one who could not realise those clear and twinkling eyes, which were filled with love and admiration for Chen Yuan.
Lu Chuiqing stood at the corner awkwardly, completely hiding in the shadows.
Chen Yuan nodded his head slightly, looked at the assistant, and smiled lightly, “Have fun with your dinner. Don’t stay out too late, be careful on your way back.”
Everyone agreed, and respectfully bid their farewells, and started walking towards the main entrance. The assistant glanced back furtively at Chen Yuan, reluctant to part so soon.
Lu Chuiqing retracted himself into the corner of the wall, the rim of his eyes turning red.
As his colleagues from the same department left, Chen Yuan’s friend bumped into his shoulders, lifted his chin and teased, “Hoho, that kid was pretty good looking. Who’s that?”
“An assistant, a new one.”
“Just look at him, he must like you a lot.”
“That’s baseless”
“What do you mean by baseless? I say everyone knows exactly what’s going on.” His friend sighed, “I am only telling you this because we have been old buds for a long time. Just look at my wife, arguing with me every day, not really putting in any effort in her appearance since marriage, sloppy, doesn’t like working, complaining about this and that, and always getting into a cold war*1 with me. We already have kids, so what else can I do other than enduring it and just get by? Who wouldn’t like a young and pretty one outside, when you have an old one back at home2? Duty is one thing, feelings… are a completely different issue.”
(T/N*1: 冷战, meaning cold war, is often used to express how two people ignore each other intentionally, as a way to spite/argue each other, etc)
(T/N*2: The words used here are ç³Ÿç³ ä¹‹å¦», which is also the title of the novel. While it literally means “a wife that has been through the hardships with you since the beginning”, it has a negative nuance in this specific conversation. He meant that “there is no way you won’t like the young and pretty ones out there when all you face every day was an old hag nagging at you all the time back at home”)
Chen Yuan chuckled helplessly. It was not an easy topic to comment on, and so he chose not to and kept quiet.
“Why isn’t your wife here yet? Do you wanna give him a call?”
“Yeah, let me ring him.”
Flustered, Lu Chuiqing quickly switched his phone to silent mode, and ran inside a toilet in the lobby, as if he was running away from something. Looking at himself in the mirror, he saw that there were tears threatening to fall from his eyes.
Soon, Chen Yuan’s call came.
Lu Chuiqing took a few deep breaths, controlled his sobs, and answered the call with his slightly trembling hands.
“Chuiqing, are you here yet?”
“...... yeah, I’m almost there.” Lu Chuiqing quickly rubbed his eyes, “give me a moment.”
A few minutes later, Chen Yuan waved his hands at him as Lu Chuiqing slowly walked out of the corridor. Chen Yuan’s friend turned and saw him, his expression flabbergasted.
His friend met Lu Chuiqing two, three years ago. Although it was rude to think so, he definitely did think that Chen Yuan's wife went through a massive change. It seemed that Chen Yuan’s wife was no longer as cheerful and charming as he remembered.
His friend quickly hid his astonishment and doubts, smiled and greeted Lu Chuiqing. Despite looking pale, Lu Chuiqing smiled at him, took Chen Yuan’s jacket, and waited quietly at the side, which instead left Chen Yuan’s friend, who greeted Lu Chuiqing enthusiastically, feeling a little bit awkward.
Chen Yuan said goodbye to his friend, “Then I’ll be off, let’s chat again next time.”
“Sure, be careful on the way back.”
His friend’s wife came just as he sent Chen Yuan back. They chatted idly for a while, and his friend could not help but gossiped, “Hey, let me tell you something. You remember Chen Yuan, don’t you? That classmate that is super handsome and super outstanding? I just saw his wife, and oh my god, what a massive change……”
That year, Lu Chuiqing was merely passing his days as a living zombie. He no longer cared to pay attention to economics and finance which he liked so much in the past. He no longer took any initiative to ask about Chen Yuan’s career. At the end of that year, Chen Yuan officially finished his training and returned, which led to his mother-in-law urging him about having children.
After his return, Chen Yuan was moved to another core, and more important department, which massively increased his position in his career. Mother-in-law was someone who loves harping on and on about her own son. It was not that long before all the neighbours knew about it. Without fail, Lu Chuiqing would hear praises for his husband here and there every time he went out for groceries.
Lu Chuiqing learnt how to go along with his neighbours’ smile, and listened to their conversations robotically.
In April, Lu Chuiqing woke up in the middle of the night and threw up. The moment mother-in-law knew it, she immediately asked Chen Yuan to bring him for a check-up at the hospital. As expectedly, Lu Chuiqing had been pregnant for 8 weeks.
Chen Yuan hugged a slightly lifeless Lu Chuiqing, kissing his forehead with gratitude and happiness. His mother-in-law was overjoyed, and could not help herself but looked at the hospital check-up report again and again.
Lu Chuiqing could not sleep that night. He loves children, and definitely wants his own children too, but he could not explain the bitterness and agony surrounding him, like a scary shadow hiding at the corner of the wall. His heart had a battered wall full of darkness.
Lu Chuiqing’s own pretence had forced himself to the edge. His life was left with nothing else other than his husband, Chen Yuan, and their unborn child.
Chen Yuan’s conversation with him had also reduced drastically. Most of their conversations were limited to Lu Chuiqing’s pregnancy and health. The happiness and like-mindedness they shared at the beginning had gradually faded away.
One night, three months into his pregnancy, Chen Yuan realised Lu Chuiqing was not at home when he returned from work. Chen Yuan called to check up on him and was told that he was having tea with the neighbours.
Chen Yuan did not think much of it, asked Lu Chuiqing to have fun and not to stay out too late.
“Yeah, okay. Bye-bye.”
Lu Chuiqing put down his phone. There was a glass of iced lemon tea on the bar right in front of him. The ice cubes were floating in the glass, looking craggy and fragmented due to the lighting in the bar.
Lu Chuiqing stared out the window silently, the noise melting around him.
With a serene expression on his face, he caressed his belly lightly.
At that moment, he loves Chen Yuan, as well as this child. He was sure that his life would probably continue on this way.
He tried to convince himself, telling himself that was enough.
Lu Chuiqing clenched his fists. He could not stop the bitter feeling of pain overspilling his heart, causing his whole body to tremble. He bent over, the urge to cry was so intense that it burnt his throat. He did not want to cry anymore, no more.
For Chen Yuan, for their child, he will live on.
Lu Chuiqing picked up the car keys and walked out of the bar. He went into his car, rubbed his eyes, took a deep breath, and started his car.
The yellowish light from the road lights at night shined at the car, creating an elongated shadow on the ground.
At 9:20 pm that night, there was an accident on the road that Lu Chuiqing must pass to get home. A large lorry had lost control and resulted in a severe chain-reaction crash. A small car took a direct hit from the lorry before it flipped over to the side. Due to that, that small car received the most damage from the accident.
The victim was still showing signs of life when the rescue team arrived. Seeing that the victim was trying to protect his abdomen, the rescue team guessed that the victim was most likely pregnant, and therefore prioritised his rescue.
The doctors were trying their best to keep Lu Chuiqing conscious on their way to the hospital, but all he felt was intense pain from all over his body, the smell of blood from his nose and mouth, and sharp pain from his abdomen.
He lost the fight and was swallowed completely by the darkness in the end. The life he had been hesitating about for the last few years of his life, was forcefully brought to end by the gods without any signs of warning.
The darkness slowly faded away. While his vision is still blurred, Lu Chuiqing thought he could hear voices around him.
Next to Lu Chuiqing’s sickbed, Zhou Ruiyang was seated and staring at his pale face. Zhou Ruiyang asks his roommate worriedly, “Why isn’t he waking up? Didn’t the doc say it was only low blood sugar?”
His roommate replies, “I don’t know either… Why was he so rushed in the morning? He even skipped breakfast...”
Zhou Ruiwang heaves out a sigh, “Isn’t it because of the accountant certification exam? He has been pulling all-nighters every day. He has even been eating breakfast regularly lately.”
“Isn’t the test in October? Why is he so urgent now?”
“That’s just his personality.”
As Lu Chuiqing continues to listen to the muffled voices next to him, his brain is flooded with various noisy, messy, distorted, bloody images. He feels an intense headache, and lets out a groan uncontrollably, wrinkling his eyebrows as he tries to open his eyes with much difficulty.
“Ah, you are finally awake, bud. How’re you feeling?” Zhou Ruiyang asks.
Feeling uneasy, Lu Chuiqing remains lying down, panting slightly. His heart is still jumping violently as if he has just experienced something extremely scary. He cannot tell where he is at the moment, cannot differentiate between who and who, he is not even sure if he is still alive.
The sunlight shines through the thin, beige curtain in the infirmary. Lu Chuiqing stares blankly for quite a while, before he slowly moves his fingers, murmuring to himself with a hoarse voice, “I… am not dead……”
Zhou Ruiyang is flabbergasted, “What do you mean by dead!? You merely fainted due to low blood sugar! You must have been so hungry that you turned muddle-headed. I brought you breakfast, you better eat it quickly… what’s wrong? Why are you crying?’
Lu Chuiqing sobs, crying so much that his voice becomes completely hoarse. He grips his clothes around his abdomen tightly, his brain fills up with memories of his abdomen being violently impacted on. He can almost see the glaring lights, the huge amount of blood, and feel the devouring pain.
He knew that the child was no more. He could not protect their child.
Why did he go to the bar himself? Why did he not listen to Chen Yuan and return home early? Why is someone like him still alive?
Zhou Ruiyang turns around and glares at the two roommates standing on the side, while the latter are at a loss. He bends down and gives a pat on Lu Chuiqing’s shoulder, “Chuiqing, are you alright?”
Lu Chuiqing cannot even catch his breath. He curls his body tightly, his brain is in an absolute mess. Hearing Zhou Ruiyang’s voice, Lu Chuiqing looks up and can barely see his face clearly through his own tears.
Lu Chuiqing is momentarily stunned, and then replies blankly,” Ruiyang……”
Zhou Ruiyang is worried, “Shall I call for the doctor for another checkup? I am a bit worried there might be some other…”
Lu Chuiqing stares at him without even blinking, startled, he asks, “Why are you here?”
“I heard you fainted at the basketball court due to low blood sugar, so I came over to check on you.”
Lu Chuiqing lays down for a while, dumbstruck. He stares at Zhou Ruiyang’s face, and sits up suddenly, giving Zhou Ruiyang a scare.
Zhou Ruiyang is startled, “What’s wrong?”
Lu Chuiqing jumps down from the bed and runs out of the room, ignoring Zhou Ruiyang’s surprised shouts behind him.
There are not many people at the school hospital at this time of the day. Lu Chuiqing runs and staggers along the corridor, accidentally knocking into a nurse. He quickly mutters an apology and continues to run.
Everything he is seeing now only existed in his faraway memories. This corridor, this campus, his cheerful and young best friend that has yet to face many hardships.
He continues running forward with all his might as if he will lose something important if he dares to slow down even slightly.
Impossible…… This is impossible…… how is this possible?!
Lu Chuiqing pushes the toilet door open and walks in front of the mirror as he pants heavily. He lifts his head slowly and looks at his own reflection.
He had repeated the same action so many times during the five years of his marriage with Chen Yuan. He could see himself becoming more depressed, more dispirited, more swollen, paler, day by day during those five years.
Lu Chuiqing’s breath stops for a second. He stiffly watches as the person in the mirror stares back with astonishment and shock.
It is a reflection of a youngster who only existed in his memories. Young and inexperienced, filled with the fresh aura of school life. He is slim, his skin is smooth and fair, there are no traces of hurt or struggles through the years.
Zhou Ruiyang catches up, and stares at the dumbfounded Lu Chuiqing strangely, “What the hell are you doing?!”
Lu Chuiqing turns his head robotically, stares at Zhou Ruiyang blanking for a moment, and asks, “What… date is it today?”
The more Zhou Ruiyang looked at him, the more Zhou Ruiyang thought that he was being strange. Zhou Ruiyang answers sceptically, “14th…… I say, what exactly is wrong with you?”
“Which month?”
Lu Chuiqing remembers. It was a morning seven years ago. He was rushing to meet his mentor that was helping him with his exam preparations, and therefore, skipped his breakfast. He ended up feeling faint on his way towards the meeting.
He forced himself to resist his discomfort, albeit with difficulty. He was thinking of going back to his room to take a rest, but he, unfortunately, fainted as he was passing through the basketball court due to low blood sugar.
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